i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I deserve this hangover.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
