I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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