so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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