sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just had sex on a roof
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
