some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
