their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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