i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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