So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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