He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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