Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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