I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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