The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
