i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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