well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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