the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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