I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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