Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
