Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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