everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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