So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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