So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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