Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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