Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize