I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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