i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
