My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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