Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize