dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
