I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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