Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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