It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
