You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
