Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Who haven't you slept with?

(703): View more from Virginia

No one comes to mind.

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(202): Who haven't you slept with? (703): No one comes to mind. http://tfl.nu/pw54

Replies (7) Good night (1586) Bad night (717)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

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(717): Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up. http://tfl.nu/3bej

Replies (33) Good night (4575) Bad night (1617)
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(540): View more from Virginia

when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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(540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb

Replies (14) Good night (4389) Bad night (899)
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(661): View more from California

His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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(661): His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger http://tfl.nu/nen0

Replies (32) Good night (11612) Bad night (1231)
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(305): View more from Florida

you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

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(305): you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store http://tfl.nu/0ult

Replies (25) Good night (4930) Bad night (1300)
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(815): View more from Illinois

We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.

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(815): We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad. http://tfl.nu/wyhj

Replies (9) Good night (5990) Bad night (1085)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?

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(586): Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed? http://tfl.nu/l7cc

Replies (19) Good night (1968) Bad night (1026)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.

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(215): I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident. http://tfl.nu/6tc4

Replies (13) Good night (1754) Bad night (794)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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(250): not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home http://tfl.nu/i7w6

Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (452)
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(602): View more from Arizona

OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!

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(602): OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED! http://tfl.nu/4r77

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (310)
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(815): View more from Illinois

There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?

(312): View more from Illinois

Best not to. Some people need their delusions.

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(815): There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him? (312): Best not to. Some people need their delusions. http://tfl.nu/62bt

Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (474)
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(206): View more from Washington

I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

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(206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36

Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (360)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours

(615): View more from Tennessee

This is why you're my favorite TA

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(908): would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours (615): This is why you're my favorite TA http://tfl.nu/ulv5

Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (407)
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(214): View more from Texas

In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision

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(214): In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision http://tfl.nu/s7qw

Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (299)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink

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(610): As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink http://tfl.nu/pij1

Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (168)

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