Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong

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(925): View more from California

If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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(631): View more from New York

stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.

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(906): View more from Michigan

How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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(954): View more from Florida

Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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(224): View more from Illinois

She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

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(+61): View more from Australia

So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.

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