i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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