Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life