awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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