kristin has been a bad kristin
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess