Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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  (607): I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me http://tfl.nu/xbef
  Replies (2) Good night (1646) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

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  (307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw
  Replies (12) Good night (933) Bad night (1394) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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  (804): Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great http://tfl.nu/xifb
  Replies (26) Good night (5589) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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  (661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42
  Replies (22) Good night (5066) Bad night (1647) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (53) Good night (10536) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (4935) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

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  (732): I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked. http://tfl.nu/sxfw
  Replies (15) Good night (5908) Bad night (1822) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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  (416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo
  Replies (24) Good night (4110) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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  (419): Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/x4xs
  Replies (4) Good night (1548) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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  (772): I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do. http://tfl.nu/7vxu
  Replies (23) Good night (2665) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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  (781): Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe (617): Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything http://tfl.nu/wlv3
  Replies (12) Good night (1941) Bad night (523)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?

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  (214): How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink? http://tfl.nu/kd28
  Replies (11) Good night (2565) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.

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  (610): Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital. http://tfl.nu/08qs
  Replies (6) Good night (414) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas

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  (718): We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas http://tfl.nu/oj71
  Replies (0) Good night (92) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt

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