Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND