so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare