You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
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Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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