She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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