Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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