They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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