before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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