Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize