i just wanna soil my oats bro
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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