Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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