his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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