Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
