Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
