I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
where does the pee come out of this thing
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He did a backflip because drugs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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