you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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