I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
