its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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