it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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