real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
