So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
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I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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