i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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