I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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