I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
