i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
