My first STD was from a foam party
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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