remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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